Gonna party like it's your birthday

2nd Brother had his first birthday party when he turned 3.  We paid for a handful of friends to join us at Hop 'N' Play at the Tanforan mall.

The kids had a great time, then we headed over to the food court for pizza, juice boxes, and these tidy skewers with some of his favorite treats instead of cake:

That was pretty grand compared to his 4th birthday celebration.  For that we paid for two friends to come to open play at a bounce house place.  Then each kid got a bag of snacks to eat on the lawn while we opened presents.  I think the kids ate cheese, a little orange, juice box, crackers, and a pack of mini donuts.  Done.

For his 8th birthday, I told 1st Brother we could take a couple friends to a movie.  Then he spotted a Lego Batman show coming soon to the Redbox machine and suggested watching that instead.  We ended up having 4 friends over for lunch (TJ turkey corn dogs, string cheese and apples), they watched the Lego movie while eating treats, then we opened presents and they played video games and assembled Lego sets for awhile.  It cost about $20, required little involvement from me, and everyone was happy.

If you like making cute cakes and favors and hosting a big tribe of kids, more power to you.  But I'm sticking with my glorified play date parties.  

Latest Trader Joe favorites

It's hard to imagine the point of looking for a better brownie from a mix, from scratch, from a bakery, from anywhere. I don't think it can be done.

And bruschetta?  Making it yourself will seem pointless after you try this:

These bits of roasted coconut can sometimes satisfy my sweet tooth.  Other times I'll follow these up with tons of graham crackers and chocolate chips and feel bad about myself.
 

Lil' Crime Stopper

Hey, kids!  Can you help find the criminal before he kills again?!

"I don't have shoes!"

My husband's parents were in town this summer and wanted to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.  Having sworn off crossing the bridge in anything but a car, I offered to drop them off with the boys while I went to a favorite consignment place for kids' clothes; my husband was at work. (I have obsessive thoughts about flinging myself or other things of value over the railing, a good reason not to go.  Also bad: the white alligator pit at the Academy of Sciences).  We got everything together, drove into the City, stopped where there wasn't a parking spot in the very full lot near the bridge, and started unloading in a hurry.  Then comes 1st Brother's voice from the very back of the car: "I don't have shoes!"  Ummm, what?!  It was so ridiculous that I could only shake my head.  

He came with me and waited in the car while I was in the store.  I looked through their shoes, but the best I could come up with were some Spiderman sandals that were about 4 sizes too small.  Too bad, so sad: 

We met the others for a photo op, then he hobbled around Nick's Crispy Tacos and Helen Wills playground in the shoes without much complaining.  It ended up being a good outing, definitely one with a memorable start.  

Dream Dinners

December 2012 was the worst.  My baby who had been sleeping pretty well started getting up 3-4 times per night. This was right after I agreed to be the Primary president in our ward with a zillion details to take care of before the new year started. (I was to oversee the teaching of all kids in the congregation ages 18 months-12 years if you are confused).  And the Sundays--oh, the Sundays!  I've never felt so frazzled in my life trying to run Primary, nurse my baby, follow up with 7 people on 12 different things, hurry and feel inspired about people to call to x position, pack and haul multiple bags of toys, snacks, diapers, visuals for my lessons, etc. all with a sleep-deprived muddle brain.  It's the closest I've come to a breakdown, but instead of crying to let it out - I sometimes wish I was more of a crier! - I would get super resentful and fantasize about leaving the Church.  I started telling my husband he needed to let 24 hours pass before he asked how things went; my rantings had usually calmed to a less disturbing level by Monday. Also, I might never recover from the distaste I developed for Christmas last year--must make season magical!

Dream Dinners helped take the edge off my problems.  I thought I might enjoy cooking more when I had a bigger kitchen with more conveniences, but no.  So I started going in once/month to pack up 8-9 meals I could keep in my fridge and freezer. (Cost is around $200 each time).  I realized it wasn't the cooking I disliked as much as the "what should we have for dinner?" question that was always looming, and the crappy feeling I'd have when I defaulted to frozen pizza. I still fill in with my own cooking, but I have options and don't have to plan so much. The food has been really good, and we've been eating a better variety of dishes and going to the grocery store less.  Sometimes I'll think "I could make (x dish) for less," but whatever.  It's better than eating out or having lots of processed convenience foods, and I don't know what price to put on the mental break it's given me; so worth it!  Dream Dinners has locations throughout the U.S.  I highly suggest checking them out.

Halloween 2013...and 2012

Little Sister was Cindy Lou Who at my brilliant sister's recommendation.  I ended up getting a 0-6 month baby nightgown and taping a Grinch picture on her back so she wouldn't mess with it:

1st Brother wanted to be Steve from the Minecraft video game that's all the rage, so I ordered a kit from etsy for the head.  It looked good, but he couldn't see out of it very well and wore it for about 3 minutes at our church party.  For school and trick-or-treating on Halloween, he switched to my costume idea from the days of yesteryear: Target worker.

2nd Brother went as Calvin from the Calvin and Hobbes comic.  A kid at Camp Mather a couple years ago mentioned he looked like Calvin, and I followed through on my intention to use that for a Halloween costume.  I tore black Gorilla duct tape in strips and put them on a plain red t-shirt, then came across the 12 MONTH-size shorts that 1st Brother wore when he was Charlie Brown one year and used them for the bottoms.  They were a little short, but the elastic waist worked fine on my skinny little guy.  Apparently 2nd Brother's costume minus the stuffed tiger could work for Linus or Christopher Robin in the future - we got those guesses from a couple people.  

Two friends from SF came up so they could have a traditional suburban Halloween.  They handed out our mini slappy lizards and Laffy Taffy, and trick-or-treaters may have wondered when the nice mixed-race lesbian couple moved in.  (Didn't a couple with like 3 kids buy that house not long ago?).  That freed my husband and me up to take the little ones out with our cute friends Dorothy, Donatello, and the peacock:    

In 2012, the kids were a Gryffindor wizard student, Buzz Lightyear, and a baby chick.  I took the boys around with a couple friends while my husband handed out candy, and 3-month-old Little Sister screamed and screamed. I figured she was upset by all the commotion; we get around 200 trick-or-treaters on our street.  

Fuzzy jars

Awhile back, I felt the way we were disciplining the boys was too negative - lots of nagging, counting and time outs.  We still do those things, but I came up with a way to also highlight their good behavior: the fuzzy jar.  Each boy has a jar with his name on it and can earn a craft pom pom for being caught doing something good: completing a chore quickly, completely and without any back talk; helping a sibling; eating dinner without complaining; having good manners; doing a good job with homework, piano practice, etc.

Fuzzies can also be taken away for bad behavior during the week.  After dinner on Sundays, I give them one freebie, and they come in one at a time to trade what they've accumulated for candy. Gummy worms and Starburst cost one fuzzy, Smarties, fun size Milky Ways and 3 Musketeers cost two.  They get another bonus fuzzy to start them off for the next week (mostly so I have something to threaten taking away for the rest of Sunday/Monday).  I've warned them about teasing if one boy has more pom poms/candy than the other, and neither has been upset so far, even when 2nd Brother had nothing but the single bonus fuzzy to spend one week.

We were letting them trade a fuzzy for 30 minutes of video game time for several months before the candy system, but that got tricky.  Both wanted to continue playing when one had no fuzzies left, they would cash in most of their stash and spend half of a beautiful Saturday zombied out inside, they would just watch tons of TV if they had no fuzzies, etc. Now the rule is they have to ask before doing any screen time (TV, computer, video games of any kind), and they're realizing they need to get ready for the day, do chores, clean up, etc. to get a "yes" answer.  We also do a no screen day once per week to encourage them not to default to technology options.  It takes some real effort to keep them away; hopefully we can teach them some balance.

Trisssshh or treat

Hilarious typo from a local magazine. Come on down, and bring the family.

Building manager memories

I was extremely fortunate to get a job managing a 42-unit apartment building in the Nob/Russian Hill neighborhood of San Francisco when 1st Brother was about 10 months old.  The two previous managers were friends from church.  In return for collecting rent, filling vacancies, arranging for repairs/maintenance and generally keeping an eye on things, the owner paid our utilities and let us live rent free in a 1 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment with an enclosed garage space.  We ended up staying for 6 years.    

Our building's handyman was a memorable guy.  I have this picture of him because he has emailed summer vacation photos to me twice since we moved away, which is so sweet and funny:

He took one week off per year and worked like crazy the rest of the time for our building and many others. His Chinese accent was VERY thick, and it was nearly impossible to understand him at first.  I felt like I was on a hidden camera show when I tried to decipher his voicemails.  1st Brother learned his name at an early age.  He was less than 2 years old when Fang (pronounced "Fong") came to the door with another Chinese worker.  1st Brother looked at one guy, then the other and said, "Two Fangs!"  It turns out he wasn't being racist: the other guy was actually Fang's twin brother.

An older couple who had been in the building for 30+ years always wanted to be in their apartment when any work was done because they thought the workers would try to steal their Chinese antiques and vases. She startled me soon after I got the job by calling and telling me while half-crying, "I just finished praying...my legs and sheets are bloody."  She went on to tell me they had a pest problem and she was getting bug bites, but a subsequent inspection found no bugs.  She had a lot of extreme allergies and sensitivities that kept her house-bound and pretty miserable.  Her poor husband--he would talk to me for half an hour when I called, telling the same stories and not letting me get a word in.  One day I heard a woman's voice crying out. I walked 3 flights of stairs, finding the wife's coat and then her purse on my way up.  I was nervous but able to keep my head because I knew she was kooky by that time.  As I got closer, I could understand she was saying, "Help!  Heart attack!  Help!  Heart attack!"  Her heart was racing from taking the stairs when the elevator was out, but she was fine.

Because I'm stupid, I once let the girlfriend of a couple who had been living together rent a place in the building when they broke up.  They had come to my door together to tell me of the split, and things seemed amicable.  The vacancy I had was directly above the one where the boyfriend planned to remain, but things didn't stay amicable - surprise!  He came to me with a noise complaint a few months later, saying she was having loud sex with the window open to bother him. (I think I managed not to smirk).  She also apparently drained money from their shared account.  At one point, I saw a large, stuffed envelope in the lobby addressed to him from TV's Judge Joe Brown.  She moved out before her lease was up, and I don't know if the boyfriend pursued the small-claims-court-on-TV option.

I rented an apartment to a young guy who seemed like he would be a good tenant but ended up being a pain for several reasons. One day I got an email about a "health risk of hazardous material being in the apartment from a previous tenant." He'd found a box with a medical supply label and went on for a couple paragraphs about how he Googled the company, called blah-blah agency about proper disposal but he shouldn't have to touch it, etc.  Long story short, when we opened the box, it had socks and a decorative wooden carving in it.  Ha! When I emailed him the news (keeping things professional even though I wanted to write an "in your face!"-type message), he asked to have the box back so he could confirm the contents.  I took these pictures in case he tried anything funny; you never know with a guy like that.

The worst experiences I had were with a woman who was an alcoholic and basically drank herself to death during our time in the building.  She would yell and scream at people moving in or out for holding up the elevator.  When she heard a neighbor might have a mouse, she hung her own signs passing that information along and encouraging tenants to call the manager about it. (I didn't get any calls).  She got really worked up when the trash chute was permanently closed and the tenants had to walk their garbage outside, threatening to leave trash at my door when I explained it was the owner's decision and yelling, "Well f--- her!" just before I hung up.  She did leave a bag of garbage at my door after that phone call, and I found bags in a back stairwell and cardboard boxes in front of my garage several times. My husband sometimes got involved, and she would cry and apologize and be nice for awhile, but I could usually count on one or two unpleasant run-ins with her per year.  About 6 months before we moved, fireman had to be called in the middle of the night to break into her apartment where they found her unconscious.  She died a couple of days after that; she was only in her 40s.

There was another awful/sad woman who made things bad for me every once in awhile, but for the most part, people were respectful and kind.  I got along well with the owner and was grateful to be able to stay at home with my kids while saving money and living in a wonderful city.

The house that almost was

We almost bought this house:


Our offer was accepted and we paid for inspections, but after finding a crack all the way around the foundation and feeling sketchy about the seller, our lender, and ultimately our realtor, we moved on and were thrilled to buy this house instead:

Four bedrooms plus an office, three full bathrooms, a yard, tons of storage space - it was quite a leap from our 1-bedroom apartment!  Something about it I didn't know I'd love: the trash compactor.  We only have to take kitchen garbage out twice/week, and it keeps smells contained.  Also great: the hot tub.  At first I was gunning to get rid of it but props to my husband for hunkering down and cleaning it, figuring out all the chemical stuff, etc.  It's been a fun thing to do as a family and really, a hot tub is as good as a swimming pool to younger kids.  A friend pointed out it could come in handy for bathing and laundry in an emergency. We've also used it after kids have gone to bed.  It's a nice chance to talk and play board games on the iPad with its protective water cover - nerds!

 

Five girls

Me and my pretty sisters, in order of birth:

We were all together around the 4th of July at my parents' house. This picture was taken after a neighborhood baby shower for sister #4. We are excited for a new (surprise gender) cousin!

Sister #5 lived 40 minutes away from us during the past year. Who knows what my mental state would have been without her help? Sadly, she and her husband moved away, and we are missing them terribly!

One of the last get-togethers:

Queenpin

We signed up at kidsbowlfree.com this summer and have been enjoying some bowling.  We were off to a rough start when we realized the lane only gives those slide things out to disabled bowlers, but grumpy, hates-to-try-anything-new 2nd Brother got over it and was proud of himself for learning to bowl by doing a kind of chest pass without fingers in the holes. (That's what the guy at the desk told us to do for now).

We got a family pass, but I still had to pay for shoes.  It was worth it to buy my own, and I found some great ones new on eBay:

I've always liked to bowl and am pretty good at it, but not usually this good - hellz to the yeah!

Baby Girl's Birth

1st Brother's recent interest in the one blog book we have and some journals I kept as a pre-teen has encouraged me to get back on the horse and post some stuff about our last year.  It's been a big one, and I feel like I've been in and out of survival mode, thus the lack of blogging.  First, I totally had a baby girl 11+ months ago!  We moved into the house we bought about 5 weeks before my July 30 due date.  My feet and ankles started to look like this a couple weeks before the move:

They mostly stayed that way, especially since it was much warmer than SF and I was on my feet a lot shopping and trying to put the house together.  I slept okay, but the puffy feet and occasional sudden, sharp pains in my groin and down the back of my leg when she moved sometimes were not great.  I decided to schedule an induction 3 days after my due date because a) I was done and b) I was scared of a fast labor, especially with the hospital 25 minutes away and having 2 older kids to make arrangements for.  Here's me on July 4:

July 30 came and went with nothing serious happening.  I called the hospital at 6:00am on August 2nd as instructed, thinking I wasn't going to be admitted since I wasn't a high priority case, but they told me to come in - hooray!  My mom and sister had already been staying with us for a week, so my husband and I left the boys with them and got to the hospital around 7:30am.  I was 4cm dilated and having contractions 6-7 minutes apart anyway, so things went smoothly.  I got an epidural just after pitocin was started around 8:30, threw up at 6 cm then started feeling some decent contraction pain, but I got it under control by 10cm.  She was delivered after 3 pushes at 12:07pm by the only doctor I hadn't met in the new group practice I'd been going to.  Easy! About as easy as birth can be, anyway.  I was grateful for a drama-free delivery.

I thought she would be smaller than her brothers, especially since I went with the induction, but she was the biggest of my three at 9 pounds 10 ounces!  Ahhhhh!  Why do I have these giant babies?!?  My mom brought the boys in to visit around 4:00.  I love introducing an older sibling to a new baby!  Such sweet memories!  She was kind enough to bring magic wands to her brothers:

We named her Jane Ellen, mostly because we liked the name, but "Jane" has other significance.  I have an Irish ancestor named Jane Johnston Black who joined the Mormon church in England, then immigrated to Nauvoo, IL.  She traveled to Utah when the Saints were driven out and endured incredible hardship.  She and her family moved two separate times when asked by Brigham Young, first to Manti and later to Cedar City.  My great-great-grandma on my dad's side was a Jane too.  She died at age 28 leaving 5 children, including my Great Grandma Hastings who I knew.

There are other good Jane associations: it's the name of Kurt Vonnegut's long-suffering first wife, the daughter in American Beauty, and my friend who I served with when she was the Relief Society president has a fabulous daughter named Jane. There's also this disturbingly awesome connection from the world of cinema:

And "Jane" is the title of what is clearly the Barenaked Ladies best song, as well as a great one from Ben Folds Five.

The two nights at the hospital went well.  I was feeling good enough to have my husband sleep at home, and the 2012 Summer Olympics kept me company. I couldn't send the baby to the nursery as this hospital didn't have nurses dedicated to hanging out there (grrrrrr!), and the food wasn't as good as my SF hospital, but I liked my nurses.

We love her teddy bear ears and the toe on her foot that "got put on wrong" (next to the pinkie toe!):

She hasn't peed on me NEARLY as much as the boys did, but she has kept more of her chubs and seemed stinkier (did the boys' neck folds smell that way?).  I love the influence she's already had in our family; we are thrilled to have her!   

Recent kid book favorites

This autobiographical story from Tomie dePaola about visiting his grandma and great-grandma is one of the sweetest books anywhere. He has several others about his childhood that are great too, but my boys wanted to read this one over and over:

Amusing story about a pea who has to eat candy in order to get her vegetable dessert:

Really, REALLY funny book for kids and adults that my boys insisted we buy.  They both quote from it:

I don't think I've ever seen 1st Brother laugh so hard as when we first read this book.  He kept saying, "My neck is hurting!" because of the strain. It may go over the heads of kids younger than 6 or 7.  We kept finding really clever things in the detailed pictures to laugh (more) at.

Both boys really liked this odd collection of funny sayings and rhymes.  2nd Brother liked "reading" it to us after several times through:

My boys didn't really care, but I was astounded by the historical information in this book.  What a crappy day-to-day life poor George Washington had!:

I am loving non-fiction books written for upper elementary schoolers, specifically the Eyewitness series. Great information with lots of interesting pictures.  This one on mummies covers Egypt but also other creepy stuff like the preservation of Lenin and Evita:

Also fantastic?  Biographies written for kids.  More than a Wikipedia entry but less than the uber-detailed adult versions, and again with more pictures.  I read the very worthwhile Uncle Tom's Cabin then the bio below about author Harriet Beecher Stowe, which was a great complement.  We got a very simple one about Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's, that the boys liked (pause for Bay Area parents to gasp about me reinforcing my kids' love of McDonald's), but other than that, I've been the one nerding out with these biographies.