Boosie Badazz

Sister and I sat in the car and waited while the Brothers had piano lessons the other day. I dozed off and let Sister ask Siri questions on my phone to keep her entertained.  Later, I found a Safari page open to this:

I'm pretty sure she asked Siri something about "Bootsie," the Furreal Friend cat that's at the top of her Christmas wish list.  Not the same thing.

Lady dolls

Watch out!  Cinderella is pissed!

And maybe this doll should be renamed "Alex" Through the Looking Glass?  Looks like a cross between Dooneese from SNL and the original Lady Elaine Fairchilde:

Me person

Sister was given a "me person" at preschool, a generic cardboard figure she and I were to decorate to represent her.  I'm crappy at that sort of thing, so I was delighted to find the Elsa dress on Sister's rabbit from Build a Bear fit perfectly!  I also got the idea to blow up a picture of her head and tape it on, then Google imaged several things she likes and let her choose the pictures to print and tape on the dress: elephants, the beach, her family, playing the Plants vs. Zombies video game, the color pink/cats, and Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson is my favorite, and a couple months ago, I decided to make an mp3 CD for the car of all my favorite tracks.  It gives me such a lift to have good music sprinkled throughout my day, and having about 90 songs on one CD means I don't get sick of it too fast, plus I thought it was a good way to inspire my kids to be fans.  It definitely worked, especially with Sister!  She wanted to listen all the time in the car, then asked me for a CD she could listen to in her room.  It's hilarious to put her to bed at night with "Wanna Be Startin' Something" or "Bad" blaring.  I also showed the kids a bunch of his music videos, and Sister spotted my still-in-the-box MJ doll I got on eBay years ago and asked me to take him out.  For her, of course.  This is how I found her one morning, all snuggled up with him.  I'm so proud:

Working mom...just kidding!

Awhile back, I started feeling restless about being a stay-at-home mom.  My solution in summer 2014 was to hire a babysitter once a week for four hours. (Summers are hard, with me feeling bored and/or annoyed most of the time and wondering if I need medication for depression).  I'd run errands by myself, go to a movie, or sometimes just relax in my room.  It was nice, but I found myself wanting to do more; should I go back to work?  The thought became increasingly persistent, and in October of 2015 I decided to pursue part-time work as an IT auditor and consultant, a job I'd had for 4 years with KPMG before 1st Brother was born.  Long story short, I ended up back at the firm making $100,000 for 20 hours/week (!!).  I was sure the dollar amount was a mistake--I thought I'd make less than half that--but I accepted without asking questions.  My start date was February 1, 2016.  Here is my (sanitized) business card to prove I was official:

Getting everything ready to start was really stressful, especially since we were dealing with a hardwood floor install gone wrong, and my eyes developed Giant Papillary Conjuctivitis so I couldn't wear my contact lenses.  I found a great babysitter through care.com but had to arrange for a couple of sisters and a church friend to fill in while the sitter gave notice to her current employer and we drew up a contract (something I hadn't thought about--there were many details like this that came up!).  Sister had a harder time with the transition than I thought, and when I worked from home it was upsetting to hear her being sad and difficult.  This usually didn't last, and by the end of the day, she would sometimes not want the sitter to leave.  The sitter liked to be out with her at the library, park, and the mom-and-me preschool we had been going to a couple times a week.  Maybe it's a 3rd kid thing, but I had been growing weary of those types of activities and was not upset about missing out on things like this Easter egg hunt:

There were a lot of things I liked about my new job: I commuted with my husband for the first while and got more insight into his day, the people I met were great, and it was exciting to do something totally different in a totally different environment.  I set up a Mon/Wed/Fri 9:00-3:00 schedule plus a few more hours from home to make 20/week.  There was a lot of training up front, including a few days in Dallas, TX and some uncertainties as I got started, but I felt lucky to be part of a good team on my first client.  Despite the 4-5 hour round trip commute and having to work one night from 10pm-4:30am to meet a deadline, I had a good experience.

On my next couple projects, I started feeling the work was repetitive, overly complicated, and other than providing compliance with laws and regulations, not all that valuable.  I had no desire to move to the next level, and I was regularly working more than my 20 hours and was pretty stressed.  There was so much in my head as I tried to keep our household running smoothly, tried to be a good employee, and tried not to ask too much of my husband, who has a high-pressure job and works very hard. SO MANY DETAILS! I didn't have much time to read, hang with my husband, stay in touch with family and friends, attend to my spirituality, or watch movies and TV.  So at a certain point at the end of May when one project was winding down, I decided to quit.  I lasted 4 months and felt embarrassed and a little defeated, but everyone was kind, and overall, I was relieved.  I have since become really grateful for the experience--I gave it a try, and I know what I don't want to do.  I have much more sympathy and appreciation for my husband and anyone who works, especially single parents or those trapped in a job or career they don't like.

The hardest thing was giving notice to our sitter.  I gave her 4 weeks instead of 2 and after my last day went to the SF MOMA and di Rosa museums by myself, played golf, and got some to-do list items done.  I was back home full time right when the kids got out of school, and the summer was slightly easier with my new perspective, but not much.  I felt like I came out of a funk in mid-September after they'd been back for awhile, and I'm generally enjoying the free time I have, but there are times where I experience ennui (pronounced "ON-wee," a term I recently learned that means "a feeling of listlessness or dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement."  Yes.)  I realize I'm having an identity crises that may continue for awhile in one way or another.  Growing up, I knew I wanted to complete high school and college, work a bit, get married, and have kids.  I'm extremely fortunate all of that happened according to plan, and that I'm in a position where financially I don't have to work, but what now? TOO MANY CHOICES.  Boo-freaking-hoo, I know. It's not worth it to try anything major until Sister is in kindergarten or maybe even 1st grade since that's full day.  I dunno--I'll figure something out.

Ready to mingle

Dashing the hopes of some with that third line...

LA sisters trip

Even though we saw Tig Notaro perform last year, 2nd sister and I couldn't resist getting tickets to a comedy show Tig was hosting in Los Angeles at the beginning of April.  We made the necessary arrangements and found ourselves at her home theater, Largo, on a Friday night:

We knew there was a mystery stand-up guest in the program.  Tig had posted on Facebook that she couldn't reveal the name but said this person rarely did stand up, and she strongly encouraged people not to miss out.  I'm glad we didn't, because the guest ended up being Larry David!  I felt a bit guilty my husband wasn't there as Larry is his hero and Curb Your Enthusiasm is his favorite show of all time.  I took notes on Larry's set in the dark on some napkins from my purse so I could share details:

The rest of the show was great too.  It was a small venue--about 300 seats I'd say--and I would have been hard-pressed to assemble a better experience.  This was the complete line up:

I didn't know Maria Bamford's stand up, but we especially loved her, and she has subsequently become my favorite comedian.  The voices she does and the nutty, honest things she says are just the best.

We did hang out for awhile in the courtyard after the show hoping for pictures with Tig. At one point I was standing very close to her wife Stephanie, but Tig never emerged.  At least we tried this time and wouldn't be filled with gut-wrenching regret over missed opportunities.  

We drove around LA a lot on Saturday--up to Griffith Observatory, through Beverly Hills and Bel Air, and to the condominium complex where Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered (my sister's fascination). We also went to the Getty art museum and gardens, and had lunch at The Gadarene Swine, a vegan restaurant I'd remembered Tig praising on Professor Blastoff.  The food was unique and very good; I've thought about it many times since.

We both agreed it was the perfect weekend trip, and after a quick stop at the Santa Monica pier, we caught our flights home on Sunday.

2016 Birthday CD

I was able to produce another high-quality birthday CD for my sister this year:

1) Sunrise: Barry Manilow--came on the juke box when we made our Pacific Pinball Museum visit at Christmas.  When my brain realized I was hearing a Barry song I didn't know, I slowly turned around and was like, "What. Is. THIS!?! 
2) Trouble: Iggy Azalea
3) Rude: MAGIC! 
4) Kangaroo Court: Capital Cities
5) Bad Blood: Ryan Adams--he covered Taylor Swift's whole 1989 album, and the mellowed out songs are awesome
6) Sunshine (Go Away Today): Jonathan Edwards
7) I'll Never Fall in Love Again: Dionne Warwick--part of an Ira-Glass-and-two interpretive-dancers stage show I saw in December with some friends
8) I Feel For You: Prince
9) Womanizer: Britney Spears
10) Heard 'Em Say: Kanye West
11) Origami: Capital Cities--I showed some restraint and only included two of Captial Cities' tracks.  They are big time recent favorites
12) This Is It: Kenny Loggins
13) I Won't Let You Down: OK Go
14) Blank Space: Ryan Adams
15) Hello It's Me: Todd Rundgren
16) Every Little Step: Bobby Brown
17) Sundown: Gordon Lightfoot--included because Kyle kept singing it on an episode of the Professor Blastoff podcast 
18) As: Stevie Wonder--heard a group of musicians play this on the street in New Orleans and was dumbstruck 
19) Play with Fire: Rolling Stones
20) Moondance: Van Morrison
21) Feel It All Around: Washed Out--the song from the beginning of the TV show Portlandia
22) Little Boxes: Pete Seeger--ironic choice because I somewhat represent what this song is criticizing, but I really like Pete Seeger's voice + the banjo + the catchy phrasing